In front of mirror,
I want to tongue bathe my balls.
I look amazing.

Genius!

So for the final poetry night, I had another no show. The biggest night we would ever have and this prick doesn't call, email, or anything. I had to respond. Worse off, I thought he was a friend. I should be more choosy. From Facebook wall exchange:

Steve Goldberg
You how I feel about no-shows, mutherfucker!
Sat at 6:31pm

Michael Grover
My bad Steve the weather was really bad and I was sick.
Sat at 6:34pm

Steve Goldberg
weather was fine and you seem well enough for Oliver House, asshole.
Sun at 9:30pm

Michael Grover
Alright Steve, you obviousely don't understand what's been wrong with me, and I don't need to explain it to you. Think whatever you want to think.
Yesterday at 9:06am

Steve Goldberg
I know what's wrong with you. You're a fraud. You claim to be a professional poet, but no-shows is NOT professional. You think you were the only one unable to come. The difference is they called, wrote, sent a message to cancel and not hang me out to dry. You fucked me, asswipe. NO excuse, nothing to explain except admission that you're a lazy, whiny pussy. Definitely not a friend. You did it to me before with Blue and your "guarantee." You have no credibility at all and your word is isn't worth the puke I spilled into the toilet all week. BTW I still made it to the reading. That's what I think and until you prove otherwise, that is it.
Schmuck.
2 seconds ago

Find him on FB and send him your opinion. Bottom line: DON'T FUCK WITH ME.

For one, a funeral denotes finality, a brick wall that nothing passes except memories of the past. Like the sudden appearance of the Tremont Chicken, the surprising realization that both hosts wear boxers instead of briefs because they showed you, or a spontaneous opera concert. We have had poets drink their poems from a blender, wear trash bags for dresses, create sound tapestries of phone messages. We pulled poets from California, Oregon, Pittsburgh, Massachusetts, Kansas City, and even Toledo. We have had hip-hop, haiku, confessional, slam, strict form, objective, lyric, surreal, and just about every other genre of poetry. Yes memories that we kept record with video, and were probably the first to that in the country. Requests for how came from everywhere and help establish us as a national venue. Not bad for a couple drunks looking for a good time.

It was just too hard for us all to keep it going, to keep it at a level of excellence that was only due to the serendipitous meeting of so many factors. Time, responsibility, and creative resources change and so with a hug and a smile we finish the regular series like a divorce that has love intact, an occasional dinner or telephone call to stay in touch like good friends. And so is the Literary Café Poetry Night, a regular series no more, but the special dinners will happen. New poets come out of the woodwork all the time and many deserve the honor of being a Literary Café feature reader. Books are written and the authors should get a chance to show their work. The Lit Café is still there for them.

So come to the final evening, highlighted by the words of our previous features, the best of the best. There will be no time for open mic but maybe for a final free for all. It is a party of our memories, a celebration of Tremont’s creative magic. There will be razors and sledgehammers, so be prepared this Thursday night, December 10 at 9:30pm. The Literary Café is located at 1031 Literary Road in the not quite lugubrious Tremont neighborhood of Cleveland.

It will be a great chance to see (and buy)the book and since I know what kind of egomaniacs poets are, I'm sure you will be able to get them to sign their picture and/or poem. Think of it, a luxurious book of classy photos of word artists and with their real signatures all in one package! If a meteor falls on the 'Spider just as you pull away in your car and all of us are wiped out, you will make a killing on ebay!

So come on out this Saturday afternoon, December 5 at 3 PM at The Barking Spider 11310 Juniper Rd. (behind Arabica) on Case's campus. Get there early to find parking.