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My Bio

07/06/06 | by steveg [mail] | Categories: personal, humor, rant, Geekism

babysteveI have to come up with a bio for the panel I'm sitting on at the TechMix conference in Columbus next week. I hate doing these things cuz I really don't feel like I've done anything that that anybody would care to listen to or that would help give me credence.

I noticed WITB was referred by a Google search for "steve goldberg" and decide to see what else it pulled up. There's alot of me's. So I may just use one these bios for Steve Goldberg. That's not cheating, is it? I think I like the last one best.

I currently work at Gooooooooogle. Before that, I was at EarthLink as Sr. Director of Engineering. Before EarthLink, I was Vice President of Technology for Excite@Home, which was the merger of Excite and @Home (the company that brought cable modem to normal people). I was an early employee of Excite which went bankrupt along with @Home because AT&T destroyed @Home to get access to the cable modem business so it could sell the assets to Comcast. We got stuck in the middle.

I grew up in Macon, Georgia (USA), and went to Georgia Tech for my undergraduate, and Stanford University for my Master's degree. I majored in Computer Science at both schools, with my graduate work in Distributed Systems. I went to work at Apple Computer straight out of Stanford as a Research Scientist in operating systems, and was there for 9 years (1988 to 1997) before they shut down the department I was in.

I am an amateur linguist, having studied at least eight languages, I can safely say I am fluent in English and French, completely conversational in Spanish, and I get by just fine in German. I have studied others (Italian, Japanese, Norwegian, and Czech), but don't speak them well enough to get out of trouble. I can get myself beaten up in about 95 countries without the use of gestures (so send me your favorite insults)!

Claim to Fame: When I was 17, I wrote the radar-jamming software for the F-15 while working at TRW, Inc. in Warner Robins, GA. It was downhill from there.

OR

My current project uses VR and telerobotics to view statues. This is a posible home page for this project. Annenberg Virtual Gallery

This is a GUI created for my current project gui.zip

Here's the coolest animation I've done yet. It's for an up coming proposal. Painters.mpg

OR

Steve has nearly twenty years of experience at the intersections of media, advertising and technology. Most recently Steve was a senior vice president at Go2Net and prior to that, worked at Microsoft where he was instrumental in helping the software giant enter the advertising sales and service arena. While at Microsoft, Steve co-founded the Internet Advertising Bureau. Steve holds a B.A. from Columbia University and Masters degree from the ADL Institute in Cambridge, Massachusetts.

OR

Born into a family of Chechnyan goat farmers and orphaned at an early age by a tragic encounter with a marauding pack of feral dogs, Steve Goldberg was soon taken in by a kind-hearted band of gypsies with an unabiding love for 60s guitar pop. Reared on a steady diet of The Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel, young Steve soon stowed away on a cargo freighter and braved the treacherous journey across the ocean to Philadelphia. He worked odd jobs at the docks there, biding his time until he could afford an instrument of his own. When that glorious day finally arrived, he bade farewell to manual labor and began making his bread as a travelling troubador, performing the songs of his youth for indifferent bar patrons. In a short while Steve began to spin yarns of his own creation: whimsical tales of lost love, frustrated penguins, and brave knights-errant. But after finding himself framed for murder as part of a nefarious plot hatched by a local bookie as payback for an old debt, Steve was forced to flee America or face capture. His travels have brought him to London, where he has begun a new musical odyssey.

No doubt a surefire method to become a geek is to be named "steve goldberg".

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5 comments

Comment from: Lou [Visitor]
LouGo for the Philly Steve.
07/08/06 @ 05:17
Comment from: Adam Harvey [Visitor]
Adam HarveyThat is one of the funniest things I've ever read. They are all geeks!
07/08/06 @ 08:26
Comment from: Daniella [Visitor]
DaniellaI like the goat boy myself, maybe because it reminds me of the legend of the Wild Child and somehow fits your bohemian bend.
07/09/06 @ 10:47
Comment from: Andy Timithy [Visitor]
Andy TimithyI vote for goat boy also.
07/10/06 @ 09:32
Comment from: Katie Winterbottom [Visitor]
Katie WinterbottomAs the person who needed the bio, I vote for all four. This will ensure that whoever's in Steve's session can take their pick of who they want to be speaking to them.

Kudos to the Steve(s) for inventing a new genuis bio technique!
07/12/06 @ 11:03